Friday, 22 April 2011

Veronica's 10 Handy Hints for Getting Smashed

(Neil, I have actioned your comment in the Suggestion Box. Here ya go.)

10. Drink lots of water before going to bed. A huge big pint. I call it the Remedy for Success: chasing down 2 ibuprofen (or 2 paracetamol depending on where you are in the world). It is sure to decrease the effects of hangover (for those of you unfamiliar with this term, that is your headache and nausea in the morning) by at least 30%.

9. Keep with your friends as long as you can. If someone comes up to you that you know, and they are moving in the opposite direction of your friends that you're actually out with, know that there's plenty of your company to go around. Say hello.

8. When the world starts spinning clockwise, it's time to probably go home. Try to do this before two in the morning, when the taxi queues are the shortest. (I know, sometimes this is impossible.)

7. Girls, bring some flat shoes. As a back-up. I'm only saying.

6.  When Far East Movement's "Like a G6" comes on, do you what your body tells you to do. Even if you are in the middle of a deep, soulful conversation. The song is telling you what to do. (Poppin' bottles in the ice.) Dance.

5. Guys, not all girls are out to pull. Not all girls want free drinks. From guys they don't know. Some girls are out just with their friends. I'm just saying.

4. At the risk of sounding like everyone's mother, most of the time it can be a good idea to alternate your large glass of chardonnay with a glass of Coke every now and then. Or diet Coke. It not only stretches your precious £££ throughout the night, but also, you can remember more of it.

3. No amount of bad weather can stop a good night out. Don't let it! Remember: It's not raining/snowing/sleeting in the pub.

2. When your stomach tells you to eat... eat! Chips!

1. Stay away from Sambuca shots. Jaegerbombs. Miller Genuine Draft. Gin. Rum. Vodka. Mojitos. Bailey's Irish Cream. Tia Maria. Red wine. White wine. Rose wine. Long Island Iced Tea. Budweiser. Pabst Blue Ribbon (definitely). Jack Daniels. Mike's Hard Lemonade. In fact, you know what, just... stick to water. Yeah, yeah that's the best idea.


  1. taken your advice, now i'm sober and bored . What Now ?

  2. Congratulations! You have now reached the moment of Zen.