Saturday, 29 January 2011

Egypt has disappeared...

At 12:34 AM, apparently Egypt decided to hit the Off switch for the Internet. So now, inexplicably, as share prices in Google steadily plummet, we now imagine perhaps what it was like for ancient Egyptians: life without the Internet. Can you even imagine?

Protesters are trying to end the almost 30-year career of President Mubarak. So the government's decided to turn the entire country into a non-existent country, and their current Internet usage still remains at 0%. I just, I am in shock. If this happened to England, I don't even know what I would do.

How would I know what the weather is going to be like tomorrow? Today? For the next ten days? And! How will I keep up to date on fashion for the coming spring? And how will I spend money on Amazon.co.uk? And find out how old Fred Savage was in The Princess Bride? Ebay. Wouldn't exist. Well, I mean. You might as well just not have any oxygen.

Maybe they will go back to building pyramids and only living to the age of 35 with crippling back injuries. Sounds like a good way of spending your time.

Because the very idea of no Internet hurls me into a spiralling chasm of darkness so deep I could never get out makes me feel lost, only this and ice cream can make me feel better:

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